vision

it's been a problem for as long as i can remember.  ok, so it's been a problem for most of human history, but i've been aware of it for as long as i can remember.  which is part of the problem: how few people seem to be aware. 

there was a pivotal moment in my sometimes turbulent and almost completely non-religious childhood when my mom came into my room (i don't remember why, but i was freaking out about something) and left a card.  it was the serenity prayer:

"god grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference."

i've learned a lot of lessons in my life, and many in the last couple of years have been specifically about problems and how to solve them.  influences include (in no particular order):

* an independent study where i spent a semester compiling demographic data crossed with health data for a wisconsin county for what ended up being a 124 page "health status" report which the county then hopefully used to determine what actions they should take to decrease disparities in disease incidence and causes of death in their county.  some of the points that stuck out as i was churning data was that: 

1. the diseases that were the biggest causes of death were mostly preventable; 

2. money for health programs is most easily gotten when it addresses something that blankets over many diseases, even though that thing might not be the sole cause of any of them (as it turns out, smoking cessation programs = big money); and 

3. even if there is sufficient data to prove that people are engaging in potentially deadly health behaviors AND there are programs and assistance available to help them change said behaviors, in general, people are notably reluctant to do so.

* the ACT ride and several events and research projects associated specifically with the AIDS network, the ACT ride, and HIV/AIDS issues where one of my previous discoveries was only more supported: 

1. people know that HIV exists and how to protect against risk of contracting it; BUT

2. many people mistakenly think that because they are not gay men, they are not at risk and don't bother to educate themselves properly on the subject; and so again

3. even if there is sufficient data to prove that people are engaging in potentially deadly health behaviors AND there are programs and assistance available to help them change said behaviors, in general, people are notably reluctant to do so.

* in related experiences, what problems haven't i addressed with my fellow directors of the madison gay hockey association ?  almost every issue that comes up involves creating a structure where players and fans and everyone who walks in the door feel good about what they're doing.  this does not mean that we provide health and/or wellness services outright, but it does mean that we provide a social atmosphere where nobody is pressured to do anything.  there is no power structure for new players to feel intimidated by; there is no class-like division of player vs fan or director vs member; there is no binary separation of men vs women or young vs old or skilled vs novice or gay vs straight.  we all teach, we all learn, we all have one common and simple goal: to play hockey.  

it has become clear to me through many reflections that what we're doing is more than just playing hockey, we're creating an environment that doesn't really exist anywhere else, an environment where every single person can let go from holding on to the things that make them feel worthless enough to not engage their personal health and well being in a constructive manner, and become a part of a system that doesn't have to go out of its way to encourage every person to value themselves and the people around them.  

it is my hope that with time, our members who do struggle with potentially deadly health behaviors realize their worth and realize for themselves the desire to take control of their own situations in a constructive manner.

* this last point, though still somewhat vague in my head, was only reinforced this weekend when i attended the 2008 Wisconsin LGBT Health Leadership Forum, hosted by diverse and resilient, a state non-profit organization that actively works towards improving the health of LGBTQA people.  according to several state surveys, LGBTQA people engage in risky health behaviors at a much higher rate than straight people, correlating to much higher rates of dropping out of school, depression, self-abuse, and suicide.  this surprises no one who has been a part of the LGBTQA community for any length of time.  

we ponder endlessly: why, with all of the services that are available, do people still turn to drugs and harmful behaviors?  how we can change this? how can we make a healthier community?  

people point fingers: at doctors who do not understand the needs and health issues that are specific to LGBTQ people; at insurance companies whose premiums are high and coverage for hormone treatments and mental health services are low or non existent; at a greater community that we've come to fear due to their imposed violence and intolerance; at a lifetime's worth of being taught that different = bad and that we deserve all of the maltreatment we receive. 

and so here's what i've learned from all of this:

i do not believe that most doctors are willfully ignorant, and that most of them do the best they can with the system that they've been given.  i could go to medical school and become a doctor and try to make my community better one person at a time, every day for the rest of my life and still not reach everyone in need, or even every person who is in dire need.  or i can take it a step to the side and seek to change the system:  we are operating in a world where we are encouraged to hold prestige, money, and physical things in higher esteem than ourselves, our families, and our communities.  if we continue to seek after these societally constructed ideals of power and perfection (which will never cease to elude us because they only exist in a specific social context), we will never be able to collectively have the desire and ability to take control of our own health behaviors.

so what's punch line (because i've got a lot of studying to do, and maybe i'll be able to focus now that i've allowed myself the time to get this all out of my head): you can't solve people's problems, they have to want to do it themselves.

to clarify: in seeking a solution to an issue, the trick is to ask the proper question.  in the case of seeking to improve health and decrease destructive behaviors, the question has traditionally been, "how can we reach people?"  the question needs to be "how can we encourage people to value themselves?"

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[punkieg0.blogspot.com]

I wish you would blog again..I miss reading them!