here you have it

checkup

to say that i have been amazingly busy the last couple of weeks would be an unjust oversimplification. still, there is a growing list of things that i want to share with you, each requiring more time and energy, however, than i have time and space to write it.

soon.

quietly celebrating

hockey

hockey love:
my team lost again,
but i love playing so much that it doesn't matter.

my first injury:
i hope it bruises at least a little.
i rarely bruse
but it's pretty swollen, so that's a little promising.

toronto tournament:
that's all there is to it,
i'm fuckin' going.

friends who come to the games:
you make me more levels of happy and proud
than i knew i had.
thank you for sharing gay hockey with me.

me

getting hit on:
learning how to take it
without changing the subject

flirting:
still can't do it
but taking lessons

letting myself exist in a moment that makes me feel good:
learning it
enjoying it

eating chocolate in bed:
yes

holy shit, they're ready already!

drumroll please...

my 2006 mix cd is officially finished and will be ready for distribution by the end of next week. incase you've missed the call, this is our second annual music exchange. mixes help reduce music collection stagnancy, allow you rock out to music that you otherwise maybe wouldn't have, and burn up whatever doubt you may have previously had about how awesome beck is. check it...

the rules:
* give a cd, recieve a cd
* we don't need to know eachother, if you're reading this invitation, you're invited
* don't post your address, email it

already on the list:
drew
derek
stacy (also getting the long overdue and postally misdirected 2005 disk)
angela
carmen (might even hand deliver if you keep feeding me)
shannon (might even hand deliver if you keep watching movies with me)

not on the list?
send requests, comments, suggestions, questions, love letters, hate mail, baked goods, and instructions in diagram form to:
verbalhabit@charter.net

2006: what a ride
as in, feeling like i got taken for one

creature from the black lagoon

writing wasn't working
so i stayed in bed
and when that didn't work
i tried working

out

it used to be my legs
muscular thighs built on nothing more than
running
from the things i was burying there
beloved friends
and
untrusted lovers

these days
legs skinny like the rest of me
it's in my shoulders
always tense
uncomfortable even in my sleep
heavy with the weight of standing still and
holding
not running
embracing
not denying
trying
learning

when my skin has lost the layers that were yours
and i've worked all of this out of my muscles
what will be left of me?