four hours, and all i got was this lousy graph paper

turns out the palpitations might not have been a panic attack. while it's true that i have been freaking out, in my own stealthy freaking out way, about financing my latest academic venture, it is also true that my heart has been stubbing its toe inside my chest every 4 minutes for the last 2 days.

when i got home from work today, the irregular thumping was making me so nervous that jennie jumped on the "what's wrong, are you sure there's nothing wrong" wagon over the phone immediately after i finished my introductory "hi." after i told her what was going on, she made me promise to call the er to at least discuss the possibility of my worthiness. after the nurse at meriter told me that she couldn't give medical advice over the phone, i called the only person i knew who could: my mom. i almost started crying while i was on the phone with her. i felt so helpless and stupid for not knowing what was wrong with me or what to do about it. mom says that it's better to be safe than sorry, so i went. jennie even got snarky marty to cover the rest of her shift so she could take me.

long story short, here is my er experience by the numbers:
2. number of staff at the triage desk.
30. number of people in the waiting room by the time we got in.
4. number of hours we were there.
5. number of minutes spent in the company of a doctor.
20. number of minutes spent in the company of other er staff. including the cabinet stocking woman who giggled at jennie while she read to me about the caloric values of snack foods from shape magazine.
8,000. number of times my heart palpated while i was there and hooked up to a monitor that nobody was watching.
2 1/2. number of times my heart palpated while someone else was looking.
0. number of echocardiograms i recieved.
1. number of custard filled doughnuts jennie brought me from greenbush when we were finally set free.

and after all of that, i recieved:
* a copy of my ecg, which indicates that my atrium is more excited about contracting than my ventricle.
* a blurb about palpitation that basically states exactly what i told the triage nurse when i walked in
* a blurb about not finding anything wrong with me that would be causing such palpitations.
* vague instructions to avoid caffiene, tea, alcohol, and tobacco.
* vague instructions to make an appointment with my primary, asap. including: "you can reach your doctor by calling their clinic phone number." handy.

my train of thought just totally derailed, and i can't even think of anything more to write. i blame the palpitations.

palpitations are my new scapegoat.

can't find the keys? ask those pesky palpitations...

Comments

[ryan]

Here's the good news: You are a UW student starting Tuesday, which means you can get your echocardiogram by setting up an appointment with UHS (265-5600). I set up an appointment for a physical after I had some heart-area pains earlier this year that turned out to be muscle spasms. The people that gave me a look-see seemed pretty thorough, and I got about half an hour of face time with a doctor who seemed pretty competant. Even with my little complaints they ran a full battery of tests on me for all sorts of stuff. Services are included under your student fees, I think.

Hope you feel better. Haven't seen you in forever. Things have been all hectic. Hopefully, I'll see you soonish.

[Molly]

Eek ... (((hugs))) to you! Sounds like everything will be fine. Remember, you can always, always call or e-mail my dad if you want to be reassured! He's great at that. Lemme know if you want the number or e-mail address.

[brrri]

mo: i think i have your parents' home phone number permanently stored in my finger tips by dialing it at least once a day for every year we were in high school. and yes, your dad is awesome.

ryan: the people at meriter suggested that i make an appointment to have a physical, told me that my heart wasn't likely to stop in the next 3 days, and sent me home. UHS, here i come! maybe we can get lunch on the mall sometime?

[ryan]

Dude. I live on the mall this year. Stop by sometime after class and say hi.

[DB]

Actually sounds similar to my wife's experience (including the panic). She was told that a) it's abnormal, but b) it's not anything to be concerned about.

Best of luck!

[sim]

Yikes! I hope your heart gives you a break. Maybe give it a Kit Kat bar...:-) Or just start laughing...it's the best medicine.

We'll be in Madison on Sept. 16th if you want me to call you.

[brrri]

um... OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO CALL ME! i'm going out of my mind trying to get back in to school. i need some reassurance by someone who did it already that it's not going to kill me. plus I MISS YOU!!