here you have it

it's gonna effin' happen!

we just did a little happy dance right here in the electric earth cafe. we're *finally* taking a vacation. so it's just for one night, and it's going to be something like a 3 or 4 hour drive, but it's going to be fantastic.

the chanticleer guest house

maybe we'll even take our sweet time getting there and back by taking county roads instead of highways. it's been a really long time since i've been out of madison. too long.

in other news:

* the apartment is coming along nicely. they finished the floor in the bedroom, and all i can say is that it is absolutely stunning. last weekend, i got to get in there to paint the trim and the walls in the bedroom, and it's really starting to resemble in inhabitable space. i haven't been able to make it over there since, but i bet the plumbing is coming along nicely, too. if all continues to go well, i'm hoping to be in by my birthday. sweet.

* speaking of my birthday, my birthday is coming up, and guess who is coming to visit... mike! yay! i've already turned in an official notice to my liver. i should get on making some plans. anyone have any suggestions?

* work. it's totally time to go to work. my apologies for the lackluster post, but it's hard to write in coffee shops. too many distractions. move first, then apply internet service. this is me being thankful that i was born with patience.

* with that hole bit said about patience, i am in a childlike state of anticipation for the upcoming softball season. anyone wanna play catch or hit some softballs this weekend? also, we're thinking about starting a website for our lesbian softball teams, and i'm thinking about just doing it myself on some kind of blogging site. we just want somewhere to post pictures and schedules and team stats for as few dollars as possible. anyone have any suggestions?

these are the moments that make the world go 'round

breathe.

absorb the love that's here.

last night, when i got to jennie's apartment, which is where i'm staying until my apartment is inhabitable, i found a nicely laminated tiny tiny piece of paper. i'm not normally nosy into jennie's stuff, but since it was on the table, i picked it up. it was her newspaper horoscope. it said:

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) - Today is a 7 - You can learn amazing things from a gentle person. From the old stories, you'll find the way to solve a current dilemma.

i smiled. i wondered to myself whether she'd made it for herself or if someone gave it to her. i wondered what she was planning on doing with it, and whether she'd left it there for me to see. i turned it over in my hand, and was suprised to find more on the back. my horoscope:

Aries (March 21-April19) - Today is a 5 - Conditions change, and now it looks like you'll find something you thought you'd lost forever. Keep cleaning house.

*

when she got home, all soaking wet from the amazingly beautiful rain i'd been listening to all evening, she asked me if i'd found the present she left for me, and then pulled an identical tiny laminated piece of horoscopes out of her wallet.

and then i finished doing my taxes, and am still thoroughly amazed and greatful for my gigantic return. maybe i should quit my extremely high paying job halfway through every year. maybe i should get back on task of finding any paying job...

trying to maintain in a coffee shop

the window is an excellent distraction. cars scrambling through the intersection as the light turns red, left turns vs pedestrians, the line of men forming at the soup kitchen down the street, the dalmation and the sheltie mix, the casbah bicycle carriage thing... what are those called?...

i don't feel at home here. i don't feel at home at home. all of my things in boxes again, the walls white again, no internet, no cat, no dishes. no home.

i don't have the job that i want. i was hopeful last summer, that when the positions opened up, i would apply and be granted the opportunity to have my job back. the situation was so fucked up... why won't they hire me back? in the last few months, i *just* decided that i wanted to stay in madison. i *just* decided that the job that i had was the job that i *want* to do. why, then, aren't i getting an interview?

i don't have the energy to fight. i sleep damn near 10 hours a day anymore, and still, i don't have the energy to fight this thing anymore.

i feel like throwing myself on the floor and having an adult sized this-isn't-fair style tantrum, all kicking and crying. and when i'm done, things still won't be fair, and i still won't understand why i'm not getting hired, and my new apartment won't be any closer to being ready for me to move in, but maybe it'll help me get all of this totally unhelpful woe out of the way so that i can proceed in a way that is more productive. maybe i'll just go do my taxes. hopefully i'll get a return again this year, and hopefully it'll be enough to pay all of my professional and vehicle insurances and licensures that just happen to be due all in the same month. not that i'm using my professional licenses....

listening to:
coffee shop portishead
roads