here you have it

wisconsin rep. scott gunderson, keeping the state safe from homos and children without guns

hunting bill would allow 8-year-olds to use weapons

after co-sponsoring the still-pending state constitutional amendment to ban marriage for same-sex couples, and anything "substantially similar" to marriage for everyone in the state of wisconsin, rep gunderson is our knight in shining armor once again with a much needed bill that would allow 8 year olds to hunt by themselves.

*gag*

in the last year or so, i have had the opportunity to participate in a couple of events where constituents got the chance to say their piece about the marriage amendment to members of the state assembly. in both instances, gunderson *insisted* that the proposed amendment would not effect things like health insurance benefits for unmarried hetero couples or hetero domestic partnerships, even though the language of the bill clearly states that, "only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state. a legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized in this state."

take 2:

in the hunting article, gunderson says,"wisconsin is losing hunters and its hunting tradition because young people are losing interest." while the dnr says, "much of the decline occurred in 2002, when chronic wasting disease was discovered in the white-tailed deer herd, and numbers have climbed in 2003 and 2004."

do it again!

gunderson says, "the other big issue is parental rights. this allows them to make a decision whether a child can hunt at an earlier age." common sense, a guy whose 14 year old was accidentally shot and killed by a 12 year old while deer hunting, and the wisconsin chapter of the american academy of pediatrics says, "this is a childhood safety issue."

the guy whose kid was killed also points out that, even though he is all about hunting and guns, "eight-year-olds don't have the coordination or attention span or physical ability to handle a gun. they are learning cursive writing and some of them believe in santa claus." do you believe in santa claus, mr. gunderson?

one more time...

gunderson says, "the safest group of hunters is those 16 and under with an adult." the dnr says, "in 2004 there were 41 hunting injuries statewide from a firearm or bow and arrow... in 29 percent of all those incidents, the shooter was age 12 to 17, the highest percentage of any group."

also shocking:

currently, in the state of wisconsin, a 12 year old can hunt with her own weapon if she has passed a safety course and is accompanied by an adult. gunderson's bill apparently doesn't change this rule, therefore, if passed, "an 8-year-old would not have to take a hunter safety course, but they would have to when they turn 12."

you said it, not me:

and yet, somehow, "the dnr is officially neutral on the bill." but of course they are. says the dnr, "if we have fewer hunters, there is no question that would have an impact on how conservation efforts are funded. hunting and fishing licenses pay for conservation programs, but i don't think raising money is the reason to do this."

entertaining myself further:
the teen girl squad

stay tuned to greenambition for:
what ever happened to good, old fashioned sympathy?

google: 1. bri: 0.

recently, some friends were talking about their two favorite america's funniest home videos videos. one shows three kittens emerge from an uncooked thanksgiving style turkey, the other a stubby legged, fat little dog is propped up with its back in a corner and can't get itself free. being as internet savvy as i thought i was, i vowed to find these videos online to post here for everyone's viewing pleasure. i am sorry to say that i have spent almost all of my free time in the last 2 days searching the "interweb" and watching crappy videos that aren't the ones i am looking for. ryan? molly? help?

i. can't. watch. any. more. bad. internet. videos.

i found a site called killsometime.com, which promised some 50 pages of "funny and extreme" videos to choose from. but about a dozen pages in to it, i realized that the site has apparently been written by extremely sheltered white frat boys because not only are most of the videos of vehicle crashes, missile explosions, or girls slapping eachother, the captions make sure to specify the race and gender of anyone who is not white and male. examples:
* "this is the perfect way to shut someone up. i need to get one of these for my woman."
* "this chick thinks she can work the pole until she falls off it."
* "this black guy gets scared as hell by one of his buddies that are pulling a prank on him."
* "look at this little black kid trying to get change from an asian woman at a convienence store."

skimming captions, i didn't bother with the vast majority of the videos. even the ones that belong to the captions above aren't worth watching. but if you want to see a series of videos that will make you question evolution, check out:
* howard stern prank call
i think network news sucks too, but, seriously.
* angry gamer
anyone wanna sell this guy a rifle?
* oklahoma full auto shoot
apparently, the reason these people need automatic weapons is that they have shitty, shitty aiming skills.

wow. the internet is so full of crap.

but this video is some good stuff.

and just because i've already spent almost 3 hours watching crappy internet videos, here are some of my favorites to get that taste out of your mouth:

* you're a superstar, at the gay bar
* reno 911 drunk driving arrest
* gw bush's "one finger victory salute"

and, greenambition's very first video (thanks to google)

listening to:
bjork - alarm call
(between videos)

edited to add:
holy shit, i can't believe i forgot this one, from making fiends.com. extra special thanks to carmen!
"it's a pretty rock, with pretty speckles. vendetta gave it to me."
"i threw it at you!"

one neuron short of a synapse

apparently, i need either the company of someone who wants to eat breakfast with me or an alarm clock that will remind me repeatedly that i need to get out of bed if i'm going to at least eat breakfast, do the dishes, shower, and take out the trash before i have to be to work at 1:00 (pm). so in the absence of the first, and refusal of the second, i opted for how-to-get-out-of-bed-before-noon reminder number 3:

a list of things that i need to do before i go to work, taped to the underside of the shelf above my bed.

you see, the setup of my bedroom leaves much to be desired, including: space for a book shelf that stands on the floor, a bedside table, and scream club. being the spacial-functional craftypants that i am, i solved the first two mentioned issues by screwing two bookshelves into the wall above my bed. now, not only do i not have to get out of bed to reach almost all of my books, but i can use the underside of the shelf to remind myself of things like GETTING OUT OF BED BEFORE NOON.

it's a complicated problem. the first issue being that i rarely fall asleep before 2am. it's quiet like no other time of day. i can eat, think, internet surf, write, read, blog, and doodle with zero distraction. nobody does still and quiet like 2am. the second issue is that when i wake up at 9am, all cozy and warm in bed, my "to do" list, no matter how lengthy the night before, looks totally blank, and i go back to sleep until a half an hour before i have to be at work. if i were a super hero, my super powers would include procrastination, self-doubt, and going back to sleep.

so what's the big deal, you ask? there are some things that i need to have time to do before i go to work, like eat breakfast. that's a big one. breakfast is a really good idea.

i just realized a flaw in my plan... now that i am actually in bed and looking up at my list, i see that i taped it up there upside down. hold on a sec... uuummm... ok... there. fixed! whew. now my plan will work for sure.

in other news:
the garbage collector guy, who makes a habit of tossing my garbage can down the hill every thursday morning has out done himself. i live on a hill. my garbage can is round. i've witnessed it many times: dude empties garbage into truck, dude tosses empty receptacle back over his shoulder, empty receptacle bounces and rolls halfway down the hill, being saved from cross traffic by my neighbors' garden. within one month of living here, the lid was lost. fine. but last week, the whole can was gone. all of my neighbors' cans get put back in their place, upright even. why do you hate my garbage can, garbage collector guy?

also:
who loves rechargeable batteries? me. they don't last quite as long as regular batteries, it's true. but when these little guys are charged no more, i put them in their little box and don't have to buy new ones.

and:
in addition to my pat robertson tangent...

"covert satanist pat robertson flashes devils hand."
extra special thanks to ryan and conspiracyplanet.

one more thing:
has it come to this?
seriously.

"turn around and take a look at the crowd"

2005 ended with me being surrounded by some of the hottest and all around most wonderful womyn i could have ever hoped to be proud to call my friends.

from the left: alona (with lindsey, her hair piece), bailey, anna, shannon, rae, carmen (and her cleavage)

not pictured, but fabulous anyway: toni, kristina, jennie

also:

hey anna: just how far can you stretch a dental dam before it breaks?

it has been a long time since i realized just how much i love cooking for people and getting all dressed up. there is not much more satisfying than preparing food that will nourish people i care about, and being so surrounded by hotness that i start to feel it myself. unfortunately, i don't have any pictures of jennie, who was also in *fine* form.

i guess i don't really have a point here, other than that i am totally loving the company that i'm in right now. i have amazing friends, and even though not everyone was able to stop by that night (ahem, molly) i feel more loved now than i think i ever have.

thank you.

in other news:
i am too giddy to sleep in wicked anticipation of jennie's birthday/kicked the ass of leukemia party. like new year's eve, there will be many friends and much much hotness. unlike new year's eve, there will be pictures.

listening to:
portishead
because, apparently, i want to get in your pants.

and god says...

pat robertson is a fucking lunatic.

robertson suggests god smote sharon
"god says, 'this land belongs to me, and you'd better leave it alone.'"

robertson calls for the assassination of hugo chavez
"'we have the ability to take him out, and i think the time has come that we exercise that ability,' he said. 'we don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one strong-arm dictator. it's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.'"
uh... what's all this "we" business? and just how would you not consider yourself a "strong-arm dictator" if you're trying to kill this guy just because he has something you want and he doesn't agree with you?
"'i didn't say 'assassination.' i said our special forces should 'take him out.' and 'take him out' can be a number of things, including kidnapping... i was misinterpreted by the ap [associated press], but that happens all the time,' robertson said."
yes. because you're a fucking lunatic, and what you say doesn't make any sense.

robertson's own: the 700 club
where the tough questions get answered
Q: "i’ve been married 27 years, but lately i’ve been having a difficult time with submission..."
A: "...keep in mind the downside of this wonderful adventure you want. if you’re off on your own, you’ve got no husband, and you’re moving along in years, all of a sudden there’s nobody there for you. you say, 'what have i done?'"
that's right. because without a husband, a woman has nothing.

can't believe what you're reading?
here's some more
"just like what nazi germany did to the jews, so liberal america is now doing to the evangelical christians. it's no different. it is the same thing. it is happening all over again. it is the democratic congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the christians. wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in america today. more terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history."
~pat robertson