here you have it

we used to call them 'mix tapes'

recently, there has been some chatter among blogging buddies about the creation and distribution of "mix tapes," by which we really mean cds. specifically, drew and ryan. for the record, i want cds from both of you.

drew, i can't leave comments on your blog, although i really really want to. i am with you in spirit.

ok, so mix cds. i want your mix cds. all of you. if you're reading this right now, i want a mix cd from you. or a tape, that's cool too. i don't discriminate.

here's the plan:

* everyone who sends me a mix tape/cd will get one from me in return.

* tapes/cds can contain ANYthing.

* email me with your contact information, and i'll give you mine. please do not post your snail mail address or phone number in a comment. email addresses are ok, i just don't want some random blog surfer to stalk you. this blog is very much public, and i get a lot of random google and creative commons traffic.

* tapes/cds do not have to be made right now, but please do let me know soon if you're interested.

go!

halloween: two words

weekend: too short

costume: not motivated

full: pumpkin shake

nap: no dice

mouse: got game

drinking: light beer

state street: no riot

MPD: trigger happy

sunday: hung. over.

work: extra shift

relax: super mario

still: feel unsettled

happy birthday, litte sister

today is my little sister's birthday. isn't growing up with a little sister great? someone to look up to you, someone to teach things to, someone to.... wait a minute... that NEVER HAPPENED. my sister and i are less than 2 years apart in age, which may have added fuel to a kind of sibling rivalry inferno that HAS to be hereditary. fighting with our siblings is in our blood. in fact, i think we actually drew blood from eachother more than we hugged. i can remember at least a couple times when our mom made us sit on the couch and hold hands as punishment. it was cruel. it was unusual. i wish i could have held it up in a court of law. hold hands?!?! can't we just be grounded to our rooms??

but we're adults now. grown up. educated. all that childhood tomfoolery behind us. it's amazing what several years and 300 miles can do for a relationship.

with that said, i thought i'd give my sister a little birthday shout-out. as the older, wiser, and much better looking sister, i thought it would be fun to lay down some sisterly advice, observations, and general life lessons.

so, here you go, leanne. now you can be almost as wise as me:

* if some guy approaches you in a bar (or at brunch in the same bar a few hours later) and asks you if he can ask you a question, tell him that he just did and that you're all out of answers, goodbye. before he opens his mouth and says something so stupid that your friends will want to drop kick him, thereby making a scene, when all you want to do is eat whatever it is that the waitress *finally* put down in front of you.

* make sure that the free in-house laundry isn't actually coin operated.

* orance juice and a peanut butter cookie is NOT a meal. neither is a powerbar and a beer.

* off street parking is worth the extra $50/month. i know it's your job, parking enforcement officer, but I HATE YOU.

* if whatever you're doing requires that you mop the floor by hand, don't be too proud to take the knee pads. and wear them.

* of all of the universities, grad schools, and fancy degrees in the world, the most important lessons are the ones that will be learned at the school of hard knocks.

* don't take "cigarettes" from people you don't know.

* buckle your safety belt.

* if someone asks you to go to the concert of a band you've never heard of, go. sometimes it will suck, but sometimes it will be AWESOME.

* put away enough cash to be able to bail yourself out.

* don't depend and anything or anyone but yourself.

* don't ignore the red flags. especially if it's being held by a child in the crosswalk.

* write.

* listen.

* watch.

* feel.

* wait.

* things will get better. things will get worse.

so, there you go. maybe next weekend i'll bring you a real present, but for now, this will have to do. i hope that the next year of your life will be filled with so much joy and awesomeness that it will completely eclipse all of the stress and hardships you may encounter. happy 23rd, lennie.

leanne (no, not the one in the middle) and her fiance, darrin at disneysomethingorother.... the one in florida.

don't have siblings to give advice to, or just want to tell someone what to do? lay it down.

rosa parks, 1913 - 2005

"when parks refused to give up her seat, a police officer arrested her.

as the officer took her away, she recalled that she asked, 'why do you push us around?'

the officer's response: 'i don't know, but the law's the law, and you're under arrest.'"

"as long as there is unemployment, war, crime and all things that go to the infliction of man's inhumanity to man, regardless -- there is much to be done, and people need to work together."

may i learn from your actions that standing my ground doesn't have to mean standing at all, and that violence is not a necessary means of fighting for my rights.

aliens and zombies and pie, oh my!

in addition to last weekend: home made sweet potato pie, and 'buffy the vampire slayer,' this weekend was a total and complete success...

alien corn maze: wow. to get the full effect, i think that you need to get me, jennie, shannon, and rae all together and have us tell it in a circle while passing around a lighter to signify who has speaking rights. but then we'll all talk over eachother anyway because the whole experience cannot be told in a rational manner. in order to keep this from being long and boring, let me just say that going to something like an alien corn maze is waaaaaaay fun when you're with a group of people who aren't "too cool for school." i was honestly suprised that jennie lost her shit while we were STILL ON THE TRACTOR. we hadn't even gotten to the maze yet... the whole story is that before you go, you watch a video that says a lot of stuff about aliens landing in the corn field and making some sort of "pods" that the "scientists" believe will hatch soon. we then get loaded onto a tractor thing, hay wagon style, and start off along the edge of the field. at this point, the guy on the radio says that we must not get off of the tractor. but then the tractor starts to "break down" and we turn around, at which point the guy on the radio comes back saying that there is an emergency and we can't go back to "base." so the driver turns on these BRIGHT flashing lights and heads off into THE WOODS where we "break down." the tractor and all of the lights go dead. here's where jennie loses it: so we're all in the dark, in the woods, can't see *shit.* all four of us are on our feet, trying to make for damn sure that nothing is going to come out of the woods to get us, when this dude in a white hazmat-esque suit comes running out of the woods. jennie starts pointing and YELLING, "DUDE! RIGHT THERE! DUDE!" she may have used the word "motherfucker" somewhere in there, but i don't quite remember because i was trying to breathe as i was doubled over with laughter. i'm sure that the other people on the tractor all thought we were high. so we get led to the entrance to the maze. there are creepy noises and weird lights off in the distance and sometimes i can see branches and things moving in the trees. as soon as we set foot out of the woods and into the actual corn field, this THING LUNGES at us from the corn! jennie pushes backwards into me, we both fall onto rae, and we all fall onto shannon, kicking and screaming at the thing that is still CRAWLING TOWARD US out of the corn. it was like that scene from 'the ring' where the girl crawls out of the tv and attacks the guy while he's crawling backwards to get away from her. after we picked ourselves up and ran away from the creepy crawly alien thing, we realized that it was going to be a long trip. jennie, with a "fuck this bullshit,"puts her head down and starts run/stomping through the corn. the rest of the maze wasn't so bad. after we got jennie to stop running, the four of us kept pretty close together. there were a lot of costumed people who jumped out of the corn, making scary noises, but they didn't run or crawl after or touch us. it was the suspense and the darkness that was terrible. there was a place that was a big white tent thing with fog coming out of it, and a place where there were a bunch of strange black cylinders, other than that, it was just a big corn maze. with "aliens." we had just come to a place where i could see the farm again, and thought we were almost home free when another costumed alien came RUNNING out of the corn at us. this time it was rae and shannon who fell to the ground, kicking and screaming, at which point the "alien" turned back around and walked away, laughing. so did we. holy shit, that was some fun. i highly, HIGHLY reccomend it.

pie break: pumpkin pie at denny's at 1am. because there's nowhere else to go, and we were still totally wound up from the corn maze. i'm sure the waitress thought we were high. i've had more pie in the last week of my life than in the last 4 years combined. mmm.

zombie lurch: again, more fun than i thought i could have in one weekend. the day after the corn maze, shannon and i met at my place to get zombified. i will post pictures, i promise. maybe tonight when i'm done with work. in the mean time, the link above is to the livejournal of the organizer of the event. she's got *lots* of pictures up. anyway, we got to the capitol just as the group (estimates say from 100 to 200) of zombies started staggering down state street. it was hard to get into character because the whole thing was so freaking amusing and absurd and amazing all at the same time. shannon and i tried to act the part, but just kept looking at eachother and laughing. the best part, though, was that there were counter protesters! the zombies were marching for undead rights, bearing signs like, "support prop. I-8U" and "People For the Ethical Treatment of Zombies." i wrote, with fake blood, on a white t-shirt "(picture of a coffin) = oppression." the counter protestors had signs like, "people aren't food" and "stop eating us." it was GREAT! apparently (i didn't see it) someone was running around "bashing" zombies with a cricket bat, 'shaun of the dead' style. another good part was that shannon and i could hear rae and jennie (who chose not to be a part of the march itself, but came along in support. kudos, ladies.) laughing from the other side of the street. oooh, and the part where we met a group of jesus freaks at library mall was cool, too. can you imagine what it must be like to be one of those guys who goes out and preaches at people in public, to be taken over by a mob of zombies?! ha! they all buried their heads in their scripture and didn't really look at us. they just read louder. props to jennie for taking pictures. extra special props to ryan for telling me about the event. extra super props to shannon for actually dressing up and marching with me.

movie and pie: home made pumpkin pie with 'shaun of the dead' to top off a weekend of terrible fun.

zombie lurch

today was fucking awesome. met kristina for breakfast, stopped at steep n brew to say hello to shannon, enjoyed the view from the 18th floor of the building on campus where kristina's office is, the weather is perfect, met jennie after her class, recieved my very own copy of the barista coloring book, ran into ryan on the way home, made some phone calls, treated my car to an oil change and wash, and topped myself off with an espresso chai. life is good. and it's going to get even better: gym for an hour, then dinner with shannon, rae, and jennie, then add kristina and we'll be off to the alien corn maze! woooooooot! i am soooooo fucking excited!

but the real reason that i am writing right now is to tell y'all about the upcoming zombie lurch. on our way back to jennifer street, ryan told me about a woman in madison who posted on her livejournal about holding an event where people assemble, dressed like zombies, and march around in the streets demanding brains. wow. seriously. i don't know why i am so incredibly amused by this, but i am.

so after you've recovered from your saturday morning hangover and had your breakfast, tear up some old clothes, cover yourself in fake blood and join the undead masses at the capitol for some... thing... really, i don't know why i am *so* amused. come on, who *doesn't* want to dress up and act like a zombie for a few hours? an article in the wisconsin state journal (of which i cannot find the online version) said that a few years ago, people reenacted michael jackson's "thriller," in perfect form and costume, down state street. how sweet is that?!?

saturday the 22nd, 2pm, the capitol.

"What do we want? BRAINS! When do we want it? BRAINS!"

do it!

(or else i'll eat your brain!)

nice job, or lessons in kids these days

i work in a coffee shop, which is located less than a block from a high school in a pungently wealthy neighborhood. the people i work for roast their own fair trade organic coffee beans. they are obsessed with coffee. among other things. it's kindof sad to me that most of the customers that i come in contact with don't really care where their coffee comes from, so long as it's served in a snappy mug with as few calories as possible. up until today i was completely amused by the clueless high school crowd who pay for their after school snacks with blank checks written by their parents, and the adult neighborhood crowd who act like the coffee owes them something. i have lots of stories, most with no point other than that people are fascinating:

~ the teen girl squad, so affectionately named after the homestarrunner.com cartoons which i adrore so much. anyway, high school girls: they pay with parentally written blank checks or exact change from the purse inside of a purse inside of a purse. they always look at me like i'm a dirty old man who speaks in tongues and uses wild hand gestures. i'm pretty sure they don't know what tipping is. until the other day when one of them didn't have exact change. i placed the 15 cents in her open palm, and she looked around like it was going to combust. she needed to find *something* to do with it. she sees the tip jar. she panics. she places the 15 cents into the tip jar. i almost have an infarction. her friend, the ringleader of the teen girl squad says, with that teenage "i'm too cool for EVERYTHING" gesture, "awww, isn't that cute." here's a tip: 15 cents isn't CUTE, it's an INSULT, YOU LITTLE SHITHEADS! and STOP SNEERING AT ME! i wanted to tell her that if she put in a quarter, i'd to a trick. but i didn't have any tricks to back my shit up, so i kept my mouth shut. the best part, though, was when one of the owners of the store came to the front to help me with the tidal wave of after-schoolers. after which he said, "they're in high school. they don't even know themselves." hah!

~ middle aged rich people with very small children. dude, when i was 3, i'm so sure my parents didn't take me to coffee shops to buy me scones and hot chocolate. we can make our own damn hot chocolate, and if you leave your cookies out long enough, *poof* free biscotti. quit yer bitchin. haha! i'm cynical! so this woman comes in with a 4ish year old and while she's ordering stuff and trying to get the kid to tell her what she wants, the kid points to the tip jar and makes some sort of incoherent comment about why there is money sitting out on the counter, and the woman explains to the kid, "that's for donations." donations?! what am i? a monkey, trained for your entertainment? aww, isn't it cute, she can use this to pay for food! go ahead little kid, put a penny in the slot, it's fun AND tax deductible! there was another woman with a 4ish year old, who was trying to get the kid to eat anything. seriously, adult was like, "anything you want, i'll buy it for you. *anything*" to which the kid started SCREAMING in a very frighteningly satan-esque tone, especially for a teeny little kid, "I HATE YOU, MOM! I HAAAAAAATE YOOOOOOUUUUUUU!" repeatedly. i'm pretty sure that the woman is going to have an *awesome* time when that kid hits puberty. the kid is only 4 and she's SCREAMING, in public, "i hate you, mom" when all she did was offer to buy her ANYTHING SHE WANTED. i'm also pretty sure that i should have given everyone in the store a free shot of something alcoholic after that. if they would have come together and stoned the kid with their mugs and laptops, the free shots would have totally been a done deal. maybe next time.

~ the crappy high school kids. they go in and out of the store for almost an hour, hanging out, drinking all the water in the free water pitcher, and using the bathrooms. whatever. a few of them are actually kindof nice. they don't really bother me or get in my way. until today. ugh, it's a long and stupid story. so, long story short: on three seperate occasions (in one day), three different teenagers get my attention by simply yelling, "EY!" like "hey" minus the "h." two of them proceeded to ask me where the free water pitcher was (*right* behind them), the third asked where the sink was (in the bathroom, *right* in front of you). why would they rudely command my attention to ask me these things rather than open their eyes and find it themselves? and then none of them actually bought anything. the third stupid question a la stupid teenager was (while looking AT the menu), "do you have latte?" uh, no, we don't. this is a coffee shop, not a latte shop. sorry, we only have espresso and steamed milk. by the way, how do you buy all that makeup if you can't read? go back to school.

so i've been thinking about these interactions all day. i think that my point in posting them is that (1) it's amusing, and (2) because i want a discussion about teenagerhood. i remember hating myself when i was a teenager. i remember being angsty and bitter. but i don't remember going about like the world owed me something. i don't remember demanding attention or being rude in public. maybe they don't realize how vulgar they are. maybe i just didn't realize it at the time. it's true, i thought i knew everything. it's true that it didn't take long for me to realize that i didn't. it's also true that i now realize that i never will, and that takes a lot of pressure out of my life in general. i feel like i want to tell them, but i know that that's ridiculous. this i do remember: i couldn't be *told* anything, i had to do it. i had to experience it in order to learn it.

anyway, i hereby apologize to everyone who had the pleasure of knowing me when i was a teenager. sorry i was such an asshole. it's true, i've changed my tune. but no, my face didn't end up freezing that way.

copy cat

because it was so much fun when molly did it:

bri wants:
~ it to be a suprise
~ burnout and revenge
~ to spend time with you on tuesday
~ your contact info
~ to ride all the time!
~ to say something

bri needs:
~ to keep a strong focus
~ help
~ a packed lunch
~ some tlc after being shot
~ to eat a burrito or two
~ a haircut, workboots, a pickup
~ to exist

if you're still confused, here's the game:
google your name with the word "wants" and again with the word "needs." be amused.

goodnight, party people.

"when i look at you i squint"

still, every time i come into this room, my left hand automatically searches for the light switch. and every time that switch isn't there, my breath stops for just a second, my eyes fall, in loss. exhale.

"but we never see things changing
we only see them ending"

i miss my old apartment with its' wide open wood floors and all day direct sunlight. i miss molly and paul and wrestling with the cat on simmi's big purple rug. i miss my big comfy couch with its layers of warm blankets and pillows. i miss how i felt most of the time that i lived there.

i miss feeling settled, accomplished, comfortable, stable.

"fate is not just whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows"

fate. hmm.

at work today, not only were the songs on the radio speaking to me, but so was my boss. a lot. which is weird. it's a long story, but know that by "boss", i mean guy-who-co-owns-the-store, and by that i mean strangest-guy-i've-ever-met. this includes the dude on franklin street in minneapolis, the chocolate selling flex-car guy near seattle, and my uncle rick. also know that by "strange" i don't meant dangerous or scary or even a few fries short of a happy meal, just... strange.

fate. hmmm...

(not unintentionally) listening to:
ani difranco : slide

< rant >

no matter how much i try to deny it, i am being screwed by corporate america. i have been playing phone hockey with the SBC people since august trying to figure out my final bill with them for service in an apartment that i moved out of almost 2 months ago. the nauseatingly chipper woman on the phone this morning says. "yeah, it's kindof annoying how it sometimes takes two or three billing cycles to get all of your credits. haha." i was not fucking amused. in addition, it took me well over 3 hours of cell phone air time to get phone and DSL service set up in the apartment i moved into. 3 fucking hours. i am not exaggerating. 3 hours. one of the calls i made to get the DSL working lasted over an hour. over an hour. one call. and now, in addition to the SBC disconnect charge and final month's bill for the old apartment, and the SBC connect charge for my new apartment, i have to pay cingular for over 100 extra minutes, at the totally fucking ridiculous rate of something like $0.45/per minute. fuck. me.

PLUS

i've been driving my car to work. i hate myself.

< / rant >