here you have it

happy anniversary

one year ago today, we made a decision together.

since then, we've made many decisions together.

and we were (by far) the hottest couple at my place of business's holiday party.

already we've been high, and we've been low.

here's hoping for next year that there are more highs than lows, and that the garden of our love grows over with more trust, dedication, understanding, and compassion than we could both shake a stick at.

i love you.

too hot

you know it's humid when the dehydrated blueberries in your breakfast cereal now look like fresh ones.

listening to:
mr. hankey's christmas classics

"my headphones, they saved my life"

i finally found it
the line i've had stuck in my head for a week now
from sleater-kinney's "sympathy"
"there is no righteousness in your darkest moment
we're all equal in the face of what we're most afraid of"

and hugs to j*
who is having an incredibly shitty day
to say the least
thanks for letting me feel useful.

ps
so i played myself that s-k song on my itunes after i finally tracked down which one it was that has been stuck in my head all week, and then just left it on random. jessie said something this morning about the planets must be coming together today, and think she's right. there is certainly strange energy in the air. here's what my itunes has randomly played me in the last few minutes:

girlyman - the shape i found you in

sleater-kinney -don't talk like

ellis - tigers above, tigers below

ellis - sacred

hole - petals

"this indecision's bugging me"

being an adult really sucks sometimes.
nobody but me to make these decisions.
no "not under my roof,"
no "not until you're 16... 18... 21."

i wonder how the clash found out,
"should i stay or should i go?"

push

i don't know

who

scares me

more,

me

or

you.

father's day

here's to my dad

who catches a 27 inch long, 14 inch around walleye
and then let's it go
so that maybe someone else can have the thrill
of catching such a huge fish
or so that maybe next year
it will have grown into a trophy 30incher

"there ought to be more fishermen like him," says one of my coworkers. it's true.

ps
just incase you're wondering why the dates on the photos don't match... the second photo is a picture of him releasing a different fish. as i recall, he caught a 21 inch walleye, which we could have kept to eat, but he was just so into the catch and release thing that it didn't occur to him or anyone else in the boat that we could have kept it until after it was already gone. oh well.

*va*ca*tion*

sunglasses? check!
hat? check!
map? check!
gear? check!
6 days worth of music? check!
ticket to see sleater-kinney? check!
girlfriend's permission to sleep with carrie brownstien? CHECK!

this morning i am loading up my little black VW and heading "up north"... waaaaay up north. the town nearest to the place where i am going isn't even on my most reliable map. but northern minnesota has never really been one for naming names, all you really have to say to describe where you're going and what you're doing is "up north camping." of course, "camping" to my parents means either a motorhome or a cabin with running water and satellite tv, but i'm not going to complain. there's a shower and a kitchen, and i'm pretty sure i don't have to worry about racoons or spiders trying to eat me while i sleep. days on the lake, nights in the deep woods.... and mom's homemade special vacation chocolate chip cookies.

ready, set, go! see y'all on thursday.

new music

the awesome molly and i have been trying to beat the heat this afternoon by hanging out in the living room and listening to the new garbage cd and discussing how sometimes new music sucks and sometimes new music is just what you wanted to hear. the verdict: the new sleater-kinney cd is just what i wanted to hear. the new garbage cd is also just what i wanted to hear. but shirley manson, what's going on?

see, shirley manson used to be pretty damn hot...

and if i could find an image of the poster that used to hang near my bed, i would totally post it (manson crawling on the sidewalk over the garbage star while the rest of the band hangs out looking badass behind her), but i can't, so i won't. i wonder what happened to that poster....

but now, while the rest of the band is keeping with that "we're so badass" image, shirley manson is looking just plain scary...

wtf, shirley manson?

whatever. sleater-kinney is still hot as ever :)

in other news:
the L team plays tomorrow (tuesday) night at olbrich #3 at 8:30 pm, if we don't get rained out. come out to see if we can keep up our winning streak, and set our record to the winning side. so if you ask us what L stands for, we're gonna say, "the most awesome softball team ever."

also:
i can tell when you've been here, and i've been getting almost 40 hits a day. who are you? why aren't you leaving comments? do you think this site sucks? do you think it's awesome? say something!

one more thing:
i updated my "hear this" list on the sidebar to the right. check it out. or not. whatever. your loss.

oh, and one more thing:
the Lbum has also been updated! i made a couple changes to it so that hopefully the pictures will load a little faster. please let me know if you're having problems. viewing the images in the Lbum, i mean.

listening to: garbage, bleed like me
"give me a chance to turn the key and find my voice"

"it all comes down to this, i run away from pain, i've got to turn and face it someday."

extra special thanks to ellis for this:

"tell me what’s on your mind,
i’ll tell you what’s been on mine
things we’ve been holding back will finally come to light
we’ve been here before hiding out and insecure
but what else are shadows for than showing us the night

there’s nothing scary you can show me,
i’ve seen it before
i’m living just the same as you
i’ve got dark corners that i am afraid to explore
but i know they are nothing new

they are nothing new
but they can consume me
i need someone to believe
i need you to see though
all of the darkest places
to love me even though i’m not so beautiful all the time

i have love to give but sometimes i wonder if
you love me like you say that you do
and if you do will you still when i open up for real
and pieces of me i don’t like are blatantly in view

there’s nothing scary i can show you,
you’ve seen it before
you’re living just the same as me
you’ve got dark corners that you are afraid to explore
but you know there’s a way to be free

illusions and truth they can consume me
i need someone to believe
i need you to see though
all of the darkest places
to love me even though i’m not so beautiful all the time "

in other news:

more pictures are to join the Lbum very very soon... if my hands have the strength to continue working. i went to a women's event at boulder's climbing gym this morning and climbed until my hands turned into cramped up little claws. but damn, that was fun. i need a climbing partner, and the womens' group is awesome at helping you learn the ropes (pun intended, hee hee) so let me know if you want to climb on monday nights from 7:30 to 9. i am thinking about joining their group. it's only $10 for the rest of the year, i think, and they give you shoes to wear. check it out!

listening to:
ellis, tigers above, tigers below.
seriously, buy this album. i don't know what i'd do without it right now, as the album goes on, i want to post all of the lyrics.

sad

my faith-in-humanity meter just hit the lowest it's been since november.

atlas reveals global devastation

The devastating impact of mankind on the planet is dramatically illustrated in pictures published on Saturday showing explosive urban sprawl, major deforestation and the sucking dry of inland seas over less than three decades.

Page after page of the 300-page book illustrate in before-and-after pictures from space the disfigurement of the face of the planet wrought by human activities.

so if you haven't done it already, please check out the ecological footprint quiz. and then when you're ready to reduce your impact, check out the new american dream for some ideas on how you can help make this planet a better place. and because i don't want to have to wear spf 10,000 sunscreen and a gas mask just to walk to the mailbox when i'm 35.