here you have it

"what have you done today to make you feel proud?"

inspired by the sunlight shining on the gently falling snow. silent glitter falling from the universe at sunrise. i went to a meeting last night where the whole process was explained.

20 or so volunteers, 4 or so staff. lobby day.

today, over 400 constituents would descend upon the capitol and directly to our state's elected officials.

i volunteered to register people to their districts, direct people to their officials, and to help facilitate constructive dialogue for people who are too shy to speak alone. nobody spoke alone.

inspired by the quiet busy noises and echoed hums of that majestic building, i waited. the registrations, the speeches, the planning, the people sent where they needed to be.  i waited, filled with the most intense pride i've felt in years. proud of georgia from assembly district 84 who faced her representative, a co-sponsor of the offensive bill, one on one. proud of anne from assembly district 83, an arthritis stricken mother and grandmother who travelled for an hour to get a chance to make her soft voice heard. i was approached by several straight women during the course of the day. one said, "this isn't a gay issue. this is a human rights issue." pflag moms. gay and lesbian couples. straight couples. people. wisconsin people. over 400 of them, all came together today to raise their voices in opposition to state sanctioned discrimination.

i haven't felt this inspired in months.  this is going to be the fight of my life.

the list

in honor of the lists of things to do that keep building up in my head, i think i'll make my post today a list.

1 - scold. i gave out my blog's address to a half a dozen people last week, got 80 hits a day since then and have gotten *zero* comments. i hate to quote justin timberlake right here on my own blog, but, "where is the love, the love, the love?"

2 - lesbian poker night: part 3. does the partying never stop? friday night, in spite of major snowfall, abby and i hosted our third lesbian poker night. it was a major success. almost 20 people showed up, we had several card games going on, and the night even ended in a wild cross-apartment chip shoot-out. really, we were flicking chips all over the place at eachother. i've got a pretty good picture of steph using a saucer sled as a shield. i still need to load it from my camera to my computer though. i'll have to put it on my list. abby, however, is two steps ahead of me. check out her story here.

3 - sledding. ohmigawd, sledding is so fun!!!! after braving a tequila hangover and 8 inches of snow, i was a productive member of the x-ray team at 8:30 am saturday morning. after that, abby made me lunch while i took a little nap (me = spoiled). when our bellies were full and warm, jessie came over and we walked a block down the street to a nice little hill to try out the new snow. it was the first time i've been sledding in *years*. much to my suprise, the sledding crowd (and by crowd, i mean less than 10) consisted of adults in full snow gear sledding and cheering eachother on. we were greeted with smiles by complete strangers and their freely bounding dogs, who looked to be having just as much fun as we were. damn, i love spaight street. across the frozen and freshly snow covered lake, the sun set behind the city. there are times when picture taking just doesn't do the capturing i need it to.

4 - stud x 3. this morning, as i was *stil* cleaning up after friday night's poker event, jessie came by again. this time she brought her car instead of a sled. she had mentioned that her windshield wipers weren't working, and i told her maybe i could figure it out, since our cars are the same make and model, just a couple years apart. so i got to be a stud once for fixing the windshield wipers by changing a burned out fuse. easy enough. it had also just happened that the latch for the passenger door was stuck and the door wouldn't latch. and i got to be a stud a second time for getting the latch unstuck. go me! and it *also* just happened that her driver front tire was *completely* flat. so i whipped out my handy-dandy car kit, complete with tire pump and hooked the thing up. all of the air that went in came immediately back out. time to teach jessie how to change a flat to a spare, which she didn't even know she had. yay for teaching people helpful things. with only the help of a passing jogger, who loosened two of the bolts for us (no condescending big-man-fix-it stuff, just a smile and a "sometimes it helps to weigh 220."), he was on his way and so were we. stud x 3.

5 - shopping. went to target today to get some things... and spend some christmas money on a snuggly bathrobe, gwen stefani's new solo album, and a thermal lunchbox. i am normally put in a bit of a funk when faced with things like pre-teenage girls begging their mothers for sexed-out "music" albums with songs like "do you want me?" (it's true, the kid was all "ooh, mom! 'do you want me?' is a really good song!" then she did a little dance like a potty-training toddler who has to pee and the mom winced, probably knowing she's going to be listening to that crap in the mini van all the way back to their subdivision.) but today it just made me laugh to myself. what really got me was the total lack of anything resembling human emotion by the staff of the store. even when i tried to get their attention, it seemed like i was avoided. no smiles, no hellos, not even *eye contact*. when i said thank you to the cahier he looked suprised at first and then just mumbled something that sounded like, "meyup." maybe i'm just spoiled by the neighborhood co-op, where almost everyone in the store, workers and customers, greet everyone else with smiles and just plain human decency.

6 - let there be light! so i finally bought a light to go over the stove. it's so dark in that little corner, that it's hard to see what you're cooking when there isn't sunlight. tonight i conquered the plaster walls and ceiling and hooked us up with a fancy-shmancy box of light.

7 - abby. i have the *best* girlfriend ever!

though i did not get my checkbook balanced, my room cleaned, a vhs/dvd storage shelf built, spice rack(s) designed to my liking, my laundry or all of the dishes done, getting that light up and helping jessie with her car makes me feel like i've accomplished something.

in my ears: the cat snoring my my toes, and random abby getting ready for bed noises.

yawn...

hot Hot HOT

as promised, here are a couple of snapshots from my hot date with abby at my company christmas party. no, i am not slacking, in this case, the party was actually held in the middle of january. also, you can click on any of these pictures to see them in full size.

the night begins with dinner, drinks, and socializing. are we hot, or what? too bad i don't have any pictures of me with my jacket on. and, oh yeah, sorry mom, the mohawk is back.

rick wants to be a super model.

enter: more booze and dance music...

rick goes from super model to village man...

abby and bri go from hot to even hotter... seriously, we had our own paparazzi...

janice, jessie, bri and abby get our grooves on...

and it's all a blur after that.

sigh. i never knew getting all dressed up could be so much fun! and what could i possibly have done to deserve such a *hot* girlfriend? wow. want more hotness? oh, yes you do. check out more pics on abby's site

like a hole in the head

wow! two posts in two days! yay for three day weekends and wireless internet, which is allowing me to post from my bed on my day off.

"nail embedded in man's skull for 6 days"

i saw this story a couple days ago while at work. as an x-ray tech (or imaging specialist, as many of us prefer to be called) we had quite a bit if discussion about it. someone had recieved the photo in a forwarded email, which made us all pretty sceptical as to its authenticity. looking at the x-ray we decided that it could be real because the nail appears to be embedded in the victim's sinus rather than his brain, making it possible for him to live with it there for several days. but we ultimately decided that it was probably a joke, as it's really really easy to take an x-ray of something, place a foreign object on top of or under it and make it look just like said image. in the image, it looks like you're looking straight on to the nail's side, which means that the nail must be perfectly parallel to the x-ray film, which may suggest that the nail is actually sitting *on* the x-ray film and not *in* the guy's head. unless it is lodged remarkably straight up in there. the other thing that made us doubt the authenticity of the email was the part of the story where it says that he didn't know he had shot himself in the head and lived with it in there for several days. seriously, who can't tell if they've SHOT THEMSELVES IN THE HEAD!?

last night i saw the article on cnn.com and knew it had to be real. wow. maybe he'll at least get an honorable mention from the darwin awards.

country music: the study

so last week, i decided to take advantage of my time at work and conduct a survey of the songs that were playing on the random country music station on the radio.

question: does country music really suck? is it really as annoying, offensive, lewd, and undereducated as stereotypes have led me to believe?

observation: unfortunately, i only got to listen to 8 songs in their entirety. apparently i was more busy at work than i had anticipated.

method: i ranked the songs in 4 categories:
ok - the song has non offensive lyrics and displays at least moderate musical talent.
mildly annoying - whatever i decide is lyrically annoying and little musical talent.
mildly offensive - questionable lyrics or no musical talent.
seriously offensive - songs glorifying violence in any way or such horrible musical talent that it should be offensive to anyone who identifies as a musician.

study: the first 4 songs landed under the "ok" category. they were all very pleasant love songs from the 90s. i have to admit that i was a little disapointed, although i was trying my best to be fair. the commercial break brought me an ad from bravo's "queer eye" shows, which was suprising, and several big truck ads, which was not suprising. the next 4 songs were a little bit more satisfying. one of them landed in the "mildly annoying" category for being cringingly repetetive both lyrically and musically, and the vocalist had the most annoying voice i've heard since fran drescher. the next song also landed under "mildly annoying" for its repetition, lack of musical talent. the next song got quite a bit debate from the people in the room. it's called "mr. mom" about a guy who loses his job so his wife goes to work until he can find something else, and he thinks it's going to be all easy and like a vacation and then he has to take care of the kids and cook and clean and do the shopping and he realizes that raising kids is a lot harder than he thought. no kidding? it took losing your job to realize that raising kids is more than taking naps and playing catch? maybe men shouldn't be allowed to father children until they've gotten off the high horse of male gender roles and learned how to cook and clean. at least for themselves. anyway, the song gets a "mildly offensive" for 3 product placements and establishment and glorification rather than invalidation gender roles. i only had time for one more song, and what where my ears subjected to? toby keith. the song gets an automatic "seriously offensive" because toby keith's music sucks. if he did pop or hip-hop or rap, it would still suck because toby keith sucks. i have not heard one single "ok" song by him, ever. i was actually just perusing his greatest hits album on itunes, and not one of the songs displayed any musical talent, other than he has a descent voice. his lyrics are childish and so is the music. speaking of childish, what was that last song that came on the radio to round out my study? toby keith and (someone in the room told me) his daughter covered the ageless mockingbird lullabye. this time, the song ranked "seriously offensive" not for it's words but because there is such a severe lack of musical talent i am suprised he actually recorded it. basicallty toby and jr sing the song in kind of a 2 person round. my favorite part is he sings "and that's why yes indeed-o, oh yes indeed-o, oh yeah yeah, oh whoa whoa whoa whoa" while at the same time, she sings about how he is going to buy her a diamond ring and it's going to break her heart if it doesn't shine, "oh whoa whoa whoa whoa." either that's so deep that i just don't understand, or it sucks so bad it shouldn't be called music.

final breakdown:
ok = 4
mildly annoying = 2
mildly offensive = 1
seriously offensive = 1

conclusion: clearly, all genres of music have their issues. it makes me sad that modern country music doesn't follow more closely with it's bluegrass or folk roots, as i am a big fan of both bluegrass and folk. there are many ways to say that a song or an artist is good or bad, but it seems to me like country (and rap, but that's a whole new study) is a genre that dishes out more than its fair share of violence, sexism, and other unsavory messages. and isn't that what music is all about? it seems to me that music is a more powerful tool than most people realize. not only power in the way it can make listeners realize things about themselves, but also about the message it's words carry to a population.

stay tuned:
~hot pictures of abby and i all dressed up
~updated photo albums
~updated music and reading lists

gender? what's that?

so when did life get so busy? and with what? suddenly there are always dishes and laundry to be done, something to run to the co-op for, and ohmigawd i'd better get to bed so i can get up and do it all over again. so many tasks, so little time. especially for reflection. i miss that.

it's january in wisconsin. today we had a thunderstorm. i was sitting in the break room eating lunch today, staring longingly out the window, when someone mentioned the forecast. thunderstorms? in january? by 3pm i couldn't stand being confined any longer, so i burned an hour of comp time and left early. i got off the bus on the campus end of state street and stood by the library, just out of the soft misty rain. it was a rare moment of quiet reflection. a chance to breathe clearly. winter tends to be hard for me, not only for the lack of sunlight and warmth, but also for the lack of rain and exposed skin.

so many thoughts dance through my head in the course of a day. contemplations, observations, day dreams.... i tend to get twitchy when i don't get a chance to write them down, and then when i do get a few moments, my brain decides to let it all go before my fingers can type it out in a sensible order. i'll have to work on that.

so abby and i met by the lake, and we strolled up state street in the rain, in search for a dressy button down shirt and tie to go with my new black suit for my work's holiday party this friday. it's a pretty dressy event, and since abby decided to go all out in her new super sexy black dress, i thought i'd go all out and try my hand at suit-wearing. i've always considered myself to be fairly non gender specific, which i like, and i've worn womens' cut pants and button down shirts to social events before, but finally going all out with the clothes actually from the mens' department has me a little edgy. seriously though, i've always wanted to do it. i've always wanted to wear the suit. the tux. the tie. and it's hot. though she may be just a wee bit biased, just ask abby. it's hot. i feel hot. but what does the rest of society have to say? since when do i care what they think about me anyway?

it was just suggested that i read "my gender workbook" by kate bornstein. hmm. i think i got that for my sister for her birthday. maybe i should have read it first.

so many things on my mind. but it's time for bed. be sure to remind me to tell you about the "scientific" study i conducted on country music. do i have an aversion to country music because i'm stubborn and i just think it's bad, or is country music really just bad?

2005

my first moment of 2005 was spent wondering why the ball wasn't on TV, only to realize that we were watching the right show, but in the wrong time zone. how dare the television gods try to fool me on the most important television event of the year! so the last minute new year's party came together, thanks to an eclectic group of friends who had no last minute plans. the first day of the new year was spent sleeping off a hangover, snuggling, watching movies, playing nintendo, and trying not to hit cars on a very short attempt at driving to the movie theater. by the time abby and i decided to venture out of the house, *everything* was encased in one massive sheet of ice. we thawed out the car, and got all the way to the next block, then lost control, and realized that there were several other cars in the same situation. mission aborted. we slid the car the block back home, and hoofed it to the local video store. on the way home from there, we saw several more wipe outs and i wondered how molly and paul made it all the way across town to paul's house just a few hours earlier. just a few minutes ago, i found out the answer: very carefully, and not without a wipe out or two. don't worry, they're both ok. the global weather situation is starting to freak me out. i want to be a meteorologist.

so how am i going to better myself in the coming year? i'm going to try to keep better contact with people. i'll try to write more letters, send more pictures, be a better long distance friend. i'm also going to try to give people the benefit of the doubt. there is so much hate in the world, i'm going to try not to add to it. i'm also going to try to learn more. more about people, more about building, more about creating, in every sense of those words.

this year is going to be big. i feel like i'm going to be more bold than i've ever been before. i feel like i'm going to let myself experience the world (or at least the rest of the country, for now) the way i've always wanted to experience it - not one vacation week twice a year at a time. i feel like this year will bring the blossoming my soul has been craving. with any luck, it will be just the beginning...

2005, i hope you're ready.